In today's world there is competition to succeed and to be seen to be doing well in all areas of our lives. Do we have a good job that earns a lot of money? Do we have the latest fashionable clothes? Do we have a nice house beautifully decorated with lots of lovely things?

Similarly, there can often be an element of competitive parenting too. Perhaps you feel like you're comparing the skills and development of your children to those of your friends? Or maybe you're feeling pressured to enrol your kids into lots of classes to ensure that they will be successful? In this competitive driven society, it's easy to feel anxious about keeping up with what everyone else is doing. With so many celebrity mums such as Victoria Beckham, Gwyneth Paltrow or Elle Macpherson who are seen as 'having it all' in terms of a career and being a good mum, there's often also pressure that we put on ourselves to keep up and be like them. If you work full time you may push your child to be a success to prove you're capable of juggling all roles. Likewise if you're a stay at home mum, you might feel pressured into raising a "super child" because of the fact that your career is your children.

Whilst a small dose of competition can be healthy in all areas of our lives, it can have a negative lasting impact on the child and family. If your children hear and understand that they are constantly being compared to other kids, they will associate the fact that they are loved when they are "good" at something and deemed a "failure" when someone else is better than them. Children can go through life feeling the need to succeed and be perfect in order to be loved.

How to avoid it and what can you do?

• Accept that you don't have to be the perfect parent and your child doesn't need to be perfect either.
• Very few people can be good at everything, so focus on your child's individual accomplishments rather than comparing them to others. Your child may be good at music and a friend's child may excel at sports. Accept that everyone is different and that it's a good thing for everyone to be different!
• Realise that we all learn and develop in different ways and at different paces. Focus on the style that your child likes to learn and discover new things. Find ways to encourage this learning and let them grow at their own pace.
• When other parents talk about their children's accomplishments, remember that they are also in the same boat looking for reassurances that they are good parents. So instead of replying with boasts about your own child's achievements, acknowledge them with a positive statement. Hopefully they'll do the same for you!

If you do find yourself surrounded by competitive mums, then consider distancing yourself and stick with the mums that are more chilled out.

If you are really concerned about your child's development, speak to an expert to get assurance and understanding. They can confirm what is "normal" for children to start teething, walking etc. As your child gets older, you'll get to understand what is "normal" for them rather than comparing them to other children.

Unconditional love, acceptance and support are key to your child's development. So rather than comparing, celebrate the uniqueness of your child by growing, learning and building their knowledge. Your child will grow and develop better at their own pace with your support and encouragement.

To find out more about dealing with changes in your life and for help in creating a life that you love, visit www.horizonsregained.com