Having a baby changes many things in your life, but perhaps the factor that many new mums have difficulty coping with most is money. A new addition to the family means a shift in priorities and an obvious additional expense. The current economic climate doesn't help with additional worries about the rising cost of food and household bills to think about.

Initial Change

It's been said that most people are never fully prepared financially to have a baby. Unless you're fairly wealthy, having children and in particular, having your first child will take time to adapt to the change in circumstances. A lot of women who have their first child at some stage feel a shock. They have perhaps gone from having a job and their own independence to having to rely on their partner's income, which can lead to frustration and resentment. It's felt especially harder in today's society as women have found themselves climbing higher on the career ladder and often earning a good wage.

Once you have children, there is of course a natural shift to focus on the needs and priorities of your children. Again, this takes some adapting, from your life before children where money would have been spent on other things and luxuries. Money will now inevitably have a tighter focus on the more essential items.

There's often a pressure in today's society to conform to having the latest and most expensive look. Be it shoes, clothes, prams or toys. But if money is tight, you needn't feel you have to spend a fortune on getting even some of the most essential items for your children. Consider buying some items such as a pushchair from friends that no longer need them or look at websites such as e-bay or freecycle.org for other inexpensive ways of buying items that have often been hardly used.

Money Talks

It's a sad fact, but the cause of many arguments and break ups between couples is about money. It's vital that you and your partner remain as open and communicative as possible to ensure jointly deciding on goals and priorities. For example is it important to you to look after your child yourself or can you afford a child minder or nanny? Is private education essential to your requirements?

Communication is also key to help dispel resentment. For example, if you feel frustrated about no longer being financially independent, tell your partner and discuss it openly. Harbouring resentment and grudges about money will lead to bigger problems.

Adapting Patterns of Self Belief

Having children needn't mean you have to give everything up, it just means shifting your outlook somewhat. For example before you had children, you may have enjoyed foreign holidays. Once you have children and are on more of a budget, you could still enjoy holidays or weekends away in the UK, which mean less travelling time and are more suitable for younger children.

Comparing With Others

It can be hard when you have a young family and are on a budget, to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others that seem to be doing well and "have it all." This is a natural human instinct, but realise that not all may be as it seems. The family down the road that live in designer clothes and have a new car, may well be up to their eyes in debt.

Realise that money is a topic that not many people discuss openly outside of their immediate loved ones. If you admit to friends and other mums that you are finding things tough, you'll soon find others that will open up and discuss their issues too.

Going Back To Work

At some stage when your children are old enough, you may consider taking a part time or full time job to help supplement your income. Consider such factors as the hours that you could work around looking after the children or do you have additional childcare support? Think about contacts - can you ask people you know about possible openings?

It can be daunting returning to work, but it can also be rewarding. It helps to broaden your social circle, keeps your mind active and gives you more financial independence.

To find out more about dealing with changes in your life and for help in creating a life that you love, visit www.horizonsregained.com