Many women are opting to have children later in life. There seems to be so much more pressure on us all to have a good job, lovely house and exciting life that having a baby is increasingly put back later and later.

With so much more choice in today's world, it seems we can sample everything from career, relationships; even marriage is sometimes entered into knowing it doesn't have to be forever. The one thing you can't test and experiment with is having a baby! The pressures of obtaining perfection in all aspects of our life and the fear of committing to the dedication of parenthood are leaving many women bewildered.

Numerous women are happily going through their life then hit their early to mid-thirties and realise with a jolt that they perhaps have a few years of optimum fertility left. They may feel a sudden biological pressure to start trying for a baby right away when in fact they'd ideally like a few more years put on the clock.

I can help women at whatever point they are and whatever stage they are in life to assess their priorities and their desires in life. Ultimately help them decide if now is the right time to have a child.

If you're at such a crossroads in life, here are a few key points to think about:

1) Assess Your Life

Consider all aspects of your life now such as relationships (e.g. single, living with partner, married etc), health, career, family, fun and decide which are important to you. Look at these aspects both from the past and what is happening currently. For example have you achieved what you wanted in your career? Are you happy in your current home? Are you in a happy relationship?

2) Visualise your Dreams

Imagine and visualise your life in say 15 years time - what do you see, hear, feel? Write it down / draw a picture to make it real and give you focus. Consider your values and what's important to you in life (e.g. security, love, fulfilment, sense of purpose, contribution etc). This helps to clarify your priorities in life and avoids you getting bogged down in the daily detailed issues. In this way you focus on the bigger picture and it helps to realise for example if you truly do want a family.

3) Define Your Goals

Defining your goals with your partner will make them seem more real. It's important to discuss them together and find out if you have the same goals. Ensure your goals are realistic, specific and measurable. E.g. if you are at the early stages of your relationship and both want a family, you may decide - "We'll be emotionally and financially prepared to start trying for a baby in 2 years". Or perhaps you're in a relationship but you both have different goals e.g. you want to settle down and have a family but your partner doesn't (or may already have children from a previous relationship) - you may need to consider if you see a future together or whether you want to move on.

4) Research and Considerations

If you are considering having your first child you will need to consider such things as you and your partner's age, health, fertility. Perhaps you want to wait to have a family because you will be financially better off but your biological clock is ticking and so you and your partner decide to have a baby sooner rather than later. What will you need to research to enhance your best chances to conceive? E.g. folic acid supplements, exercise, diet etc. Or perhaps you've just started a new job and you need to be employed there for a certain amount of time to qualify for the full maternity leave - what impact would that have if you wait? Make a list of your options for change, and consider who this affects and the impact on your lifestyle, time and resources. How does it fit in with your values and your "future life picture"?

By considering and understanding the implications, you can make an informed choice. In the next update we'll look at planning to maintain a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy.

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