"If you want to conquer fear, don't sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy." Dale Carnegie.
How often do we put off doing something because we're afraid or don't enjoy something because we get so worked up and anxious about it? I often go on walking holidays in Austria. I love the mountains and the fresh air but I don't really have a head for heights. I can cope with ski-lifts, gondolas, gentle mountain slopes but give me a narrow ridge walk where there is a sheer drop to the side of me and I start to panic, even if the path is solid and stable. This isn't very helpful when you want to go on panoramic walks.
On one particular day during a holiday, we did a lovely forest walk to an alm. Then fully refreshed after a short break, we decided to walk up to one of the huts higher up. The walk was classed as moderate, so the path was well marked and reasonably easy going, albeit with a gradual ascent via a winding path from 1658m up to 2080m. The views en route were spectacular. However, I suddenly found that at certain points the path narrowed to a single track, with a sheer drop to the side of me. This caused me to freeze in my tracks and I couldn't move forward. I felt myself beginning to panic. I kept thinking "I can't do this."
Luckily my partner Andy was there to support and encourage me. He made me consider my situation and think "what am I afraid of?" - yes I'm on a narrow path but it's firm, stable with lots of people hiking along this route daily. By taking deep breaths, I was able to stay calm and then he told me to pretend "I was a mountain goat!" This made me laugh and took the tension out of the situation. Instead of focusing on my fear, my partner helped me to picture myself confidently walking along the narrow path. With his support and encouragement, I was able to move forward. Then each time I came across a narrow path along the route, he helped me through it.
Yes it was challenging and yes I felt anxious but it was worth it to reach the top for the spectacular views, feeling very proud of myself for achieving my goal.
Our anxieties and fears often result from a fear of the unknown, being worried about not measuring up or perhaps trying to be someone we are not. So whether it's addressing anxieties before a job interview, preparing to have a baby, giving a presentation, going on a course to update your skills or a fear of flying, here are a few tips to consider:
 Acknowledge your fear or anxiety - what are you afraid of? what makes you anxious about the situation? It helps to write it down, to get it out in the open, unless of course you're half way up a mountain! It gives you something to focus on, something you can address.
 Research & statistics - depending on your situation, carrying out some research can help towards alleviating certain fears e.g. fear of flying - airline safety statistics, researching the job market if you want to change jobs, reading books about pregnancy, attend public speaking events to see others in action / watch speakers on the TV.
 Preparation - knowing you're prepared can really help to reduce your anxieties e.g. practicing to deliver a presentation in front of some colleagues and getting some feedback, talking to friends who already have children, researching a company and getting some interview practice.
 Be comfortable - dress the part but make sure you feel comfortable e.g. if you wear an outfit for an interview or perhaps on a first date having recently divorced but you don't feel comfortable, it will come across. So wear something appropriate and be yourself. Test out what you'll wear before the big day.
 Breathing techniques - learn some simple breathing techniques which you can use to calm your nerves, release the tension and help you focus, for example before going in for an interview or delivering that important sales presentation to potential clients.
 Visualisation - can be used to support the breathing techniques. Close your eyes and picture "your place of sanctuary", your ideal place of relaxation, tranquillity and safety. It's your place so you can create it anyway you wish. It might be a beach, in a forest, a mountain top, a meadow etc. The main thing is it's your place and it makes you feel comfortable, peaceful, happy and safe. If you find yourself in a situation where you are feeling anxious, picture your sanctuary, to help you feel calm and relaxed. Remember, your sanctuary might change, depending on the situation you are in and how you want to feel.
 Role model - think about someone you admire for possessing the qualities you are looking for. For example - you might think a particular high profile person (actor, leader, entrepreneur) is a very good public speaker - what is it that makes them good at public speaking? How can you model yourself on them? Think, if this person was going to deliver my presentation, what would they do / how would they deliver it? Or you may think that your best friend with three children is a role model mum. Which qualities do you admire in your friend? Put yourself in your friend's shoes - how would your friend prepare for having a baby?
 Support - don't be afraid to ask for help and support from family and friends, especially for that extra bit of encouragement and motivation. If you're re-training for a new career, you might seek out the help of a mentor. There may be times when you need special or expert help and support - for example you can attend courses that help you address a fear of flying or perhaps seeing a qualified therapist that specialises in addressing a specific phobia.
Remember, we all respond to things in different ways, so the key is to acknowledge the "anxiety or fear" you want to address and find the solution that's right for you.
If you want to learn more about creative visualisation techniques, there are various books around on the subject. The book I love, recommended to me by a friend is "Creative Visualization: Use The Power Of Your Imagination To Create What You Want In Your Life" by Shatki Gawain
To find out more about dealing with changes in your life and for help in creating a life that you love, visit www.horizonsregained.com
