Table manners are something that seems to be going out of fashion these days, perhaps it is because many of us don't eat at the table any more. I think this is very sad. The old saying ‛families who eat together stay together' is true, because meal times should be a time for communication and discussion - whether it is about world affairs, general chit chat or what has happened at school that day.

Children who can contribute to conversation and join in discussion will become popular and confident adults, and learning to have your say often starts at the meal table.

But what are ‛table manners?'
Table manners should provide guidelines to prevent the grisly sight of children eating with their mouths open or shovelling food down as though it is going out of fashion, without inhibiting them from enjoying their food or joining in the conversation.

Eating with the mouth closed is one of the first things to teach. Nobody likes to see masticated food going round and round like a washing machine! Speaking with the mouth full is also something to be avoided as being spat on isn't pleasant either!

Children should also be taught to chew food properly and sit up straight whilst eating as this aids digestion, which is important if they are to get the best out of their food. They should also be encouraged to sit at the table through the meal. If they run off, quietly but firmly, bring them back. Jumping down from the table can be a sign of boredom, so talk to them - ask questions and get their opinions on books, TV programmes etc. A bit of bribery can work too - ‛no ice cream if you don't eat nicely and sit at the table' will often work wonders.

Respect and consideration for others can be taught through good manners at the table. Asking politely for more - ‛please may I' instead of ‛I want' - and saying ‛please' and ‛thank you' provides good discipline for later life. Teaching them to pass plates of food as well as asking others if they would like some more, breeds considerate and unselfish adults; whereas allowing children to turn into screaming brats if they don't get served first or can't have the last strawberry, is not doing them any favours in the long term. I used to play ‛Victorian Times' with my children. We would eat by candle light and they would have to behave as Victorian children did - sitting up straight and eating properly! Now I play Princes and Princesses with my older grandchildren who are 5 and 3. It amazing how well they can behave if they want to!

But I cannot stress enough that children learn best by example. How are your table manners? Do you always say please and thank you? I am not sure I do - but if we want our children to become popular, confident and sociable adults we must keep our standards high too!

Tips:

• Persuade children to sit up straight - no elbows on the table
• Encourage them to say please and thank you
• They should ask to leave the table
• Don't let them run around during meal times
• Encourage conversation
• Make meal times fun!

For more advice on Manners from Diana Mathers, click here